A scary moment

Last, last week. It must have been on a thursday midnight, i woke up to the screams of my wife demanding me to start the car asap and we’ll gonna rush my baby daughter to the hospital. I was so rattled and scared and i don’t know how to react i even shouted like “hoooooaah” when i saw my baby girl having this convulsion thing, her arms shaking like i’ve never seen before, her legs was straight and her eyes kinda rolled back. I was scared and i literally did not know what to do, i tried to tell myself calm down and shit happens but my heart is racing and so is my mind. So what i did? unexpectedly, i calmly went to the bathroom and pissed and seemed like my body went to an auto calm state after the shock and when i’d finish pissing I heard my wife screams again and sort of cries and then my mind activated my body again and put it in a state of emergency, so i quickly get the keys to our gate and opened it as fast as I could and start the car in a span of like less than a minute and called my wife that everything’s ready and we’re gonna get our baby to the hospital and we’re gonna get the help we need. My wife then hurriedly went down the stairs and rushed to the car. I raced the car so bad that i thought i might have broken the engine but at that time i just hit the gas pedal to the floor. Our’s is an eco car and not known for speeding, but at that time I swear i reached 80kph+ in record time and it aint on a highway but on a narrow village road. Maybe that’s adrenaline I don’t know, I am just thankful that driving that way didn’t lead us to trouble. The road was wide open that night. On the backseat I heard my wife telling glee to just wake up and hold on and fight it off. I really, really thought my baby is dying the way my wife acted that night. She is a nurse and it seems she was more on a panic mode than me, and trust me i am a panicky type of a person.  To illustrate the level of panic i had, i only wore sleeping shorts and shirtless heading to the hospital. I went to the emergency room with nothing but shorts on but I could careless at that time. I think everyone over there understood the state that we went through. This was one of, if not the most scary moments in my life.

So anyways, my daughter glee is all well now, turns out she had measles and the convulsion thing is hereditary as on my wife’s side of the family it is pretty common so we should just do out best to avoid our baby getting temperatures in excess of 38.5C.  I’ve got nothing but praise and thanks to our Dear God for making our daughter well and active and back to her old jolly self again. True that God gives us test and trials but he is there to guide us to pass these tests and he will never leave us. I am always reminded by a quote that God never gets tired of hearing our prayers most of the time it is us who gets tired of praying to him. I think that quote is attributed from Pope francis, although he was referring to praying with regards to asking for forgiveness but i put it in the same category as praying for help and asking for favors.

The following day, i went home, this time our baby was already moved to a bigger hospital in the city proper and she is getting the care she needs. So when i went home i realized the emptiness without people living in it, I can see my baby’s toys looking as sad as I ever saw them. I can’t define it but these toys are looking lifeless without anyone there to play with them. I realized how empty can my life be if I opted not to start a family or if I opted not to have a baby and instead live like my old carefree self. There was so much sadness and despair inside me at that point in time as I fell straight down in our couch, It’s a combination of fatigue and exhaustion that i wanted to lay down so bad and feel at home and seek refuge and help. This time so many things came to my head, I even questioned God and why has he done this to us, I know i am a sinner but still why did this even happen to my baby. That was a bad decision on my part questioning God and i am so guilty of it. I do not need doubts in my life, I need more spiritual strength, I need to develop more the core of my faith. That day i can’t remember anymore if tears we’re flowing in my eyes while talking to God. I can remember clearly that day, that i asked him a very serious favor, I asked him to instead take my life in exchange for Baby glee’s health and safety throughout her life here on earth and that if this is granted, in my absence she’ll be given a loving father that would love her like the way I do. I was crazy that day i know, but i am sure as hell i am ready to give my life in exchange for my daughter’s.

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